Wally World Extravaganza

20 Jan

One of my absolute favorite things to do upon leaving Union’s campus is to go to the Super Walmart a little ways down Altamont Ave. Now this may seem like a strange idea of a “good time”, but I can guarantee you it is incredible. A week and a half before even heading to Walmart I take inventory of my depleted stock piles and scribble down all necessary items including toiletries, food (aka heavenly snacks), and sometimes even furniture or other misc. items. This is one of my favorite things to do besides actually being let loose in the store. I plan strategically, organizing my list based on grouped locations in the store. This weeks list includes items such as a scale, shampoo, bananas and peanut butter, soy milk, and a travel mug. This list has all been jotted down in my trusty Paris journal that also serves as my personal collage book.

I get so excited for this trip that I literally dream about it two nights in advance, and one time even had a stress dream about not being able to find all of the items on my list. Now I don’t know if this proves that I have absolutely no life or if I am that much cooler for being a Super Fan of Super Walmart, but I don’t really care either way. A girl will love what she loves. So in any event, the day of I get my recyclable elephant satchel ready and gear up by wearing ultimate stretch pants, comfortable shoes (usually my sneakers), and a baggy sweater. There is no room for discomfort when partaking in one of these trips. It’s go time and only the most prepared survive.

Arriving at Walmart I usually begin the shopping trip with my friends. We will casually meander down isles checking out the goods and the reasonable prices. We usually stop into the food section first (usually a good place to start so you get it out of the way) and pick out our respective desires. After running around throwing fruit, crackers, cereal, and string cheese into my cart the real fun begins. By this point my friends have started to drift away and I take this as my cue to launch a full frontal attack on Wally World. I speed walk through the isles, moving faster than the little old ladies on their hover rounds and the men meandering lost and confused in the makeup section. My arms are no longer part of my body as they swing out, narrowly missing people’s heads, and grab items left and right off the shelves. I feel like superwoman by the time I even enter the home goods section, my cart already half full and just begging for more. This section is absolutely enormous and can scare off the weak of heart. But Adah Keegan is not weak of heart. She is a warrior and therefore plunges head first into the jungle of desk chairs, floor lamps, and bedding. This section usually takes me about 15-20 minutes to conquer and leaves me with a feeling of inner peace when I am done. That is always my last stop before hitting the registers where I am always met with the shock of a lifetime. I spent how much?!? I thought Walmart was cheap?!? It is, but not when you buy 60 billion items. I leave the store on a moderately sad note that immediately is replaced by a great love when I get home and unpack all of my new treasures. Even when I spend a fortune, Walmart always has me smiling. Well…………………………………..

…………………………………………………..Until the next Wallyspree.

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